Love in times of Covid19

In the loneliness of the worst pandemic, the world had seen since the last Spanish Flu in the XX century. We had seen that no matter how well prepared we think we are, we would always faced dramatic surprises. The United States has been training since George Bush Jr.’s presidency. However, America was not able to achieve control the disease’s effects promptly. Meanwhile, Australia has been successful in the middle of the chaos surrounding the world. The low number of deaths is impressive compared to other countries in Asia, Europe or America.

Undoubtedly, the discussion towards the vaccine has become full of rage, protests and disagreements between authorities and citizens. I think we will be gd to return to the new normal collaboratively. Will it be possible to construct a less enraged environment where vaccinated and unvaccinated humans share in peace? History has shown how hard it to overcome cultural beliefs is. I understand citizens who suffered health issues or concerns about taking the shot.

The Government must implement strict control about social gatherings between those who received vaccines and those who will not. At this moment, there are still challenges to convince part of the population about how to fears, strong political beliefs about personal agency towards choosing the best alternatives for your health rather than following the recommendations of the Government.

Individualism vs Community safety

I believe this is the chore of discussion between the Government and protesters against a total vaccination of citizens. It is not necessarily that these groups are wrong. Their decisions are motivated by different interests and purposes.

The Government is concerned about keeping a safer space for all groups in society. From primary school students to managers. Furthermore, thinking about the ability of hospitals to manage a high number of people sick with Covid19. Although, it looks like a dictatorial ruling exercising pressure to convince people to get the vaccine. The reality is the main goal is looking to diminish the number of deaths and an overcrowded, non-functional health system.

Meanwhile, patients with complex diseases must have a wider pool of alternatives because they could die due to the cloth in their bloodstream. Undoubtedly, forcing them to take the vaccine to protect them from diseases could be a criminal offence if you think about the right people must have to protect themselves from dying. It would be in some cases a personal decision.

And even when it is harder to understand how taking care of your health could sound ridiculous for others or a selfish attitude. The truth is your mental and physical health is the most valuable element you have to acquire and keep everything else. Without them, you would not be able to take care of yourself, your family, your daily activities, and your relationships. Perhaps, Governments must consider the needs of people having reasonable and logical fears of getting the vaccine against Covid19.

The community should care about the health and risk of those who can face a real and significant risk of dying due to having an adverse response to the jab. On the other hand, it is more difficult to convince people of getting inoculated when they are against the vaccine due to a preference for natural medicine. I believe citizens have the right to protest, but individuals must follow the restrictions and enjoy limited access to public spaces. After all, the choice of not being vaccinated is dangerous for others.

I found multiple companies, community members, and marketing campaigns are trying to reinforce values like kindness, love, compassion and care. The principal purpose is to alleviate the stress from this period of the pandemic, which had caused a change in the life of people around the world with unemployment, sicknesses, educating children at home. Our home can be a comfortable place, but the lack of human interactions can be stressful, well warm and kind human interactions.

How is loving in Covid 19 times?

First, infra-familial violence had increased due to the pandemic. Under circumstances of staying at home longer hours than commute to the office and being able to be in a safe space had increased the vulnerability of women and men in some cases to be at risk of suffering domestic violence. The promotion of values like compassion, kindness and safety should increase. Especially, to improve the mental health of kids, who should spend more time with their parents indoors rather than going to school or enjoying activities in the outdoors.

For romantic love, it had not been either a wonderful period. A lot of people had faced divorce, separation and economic issues. However, other couples had remained stronger in the middle of hardship and challenging circumstances. Undoubtedly, the most complicated part is feeling safe in a period, where everything felt overwhelming, unexpected, riskier, out of control. It is not really that people cannot face these problems. It is more the difficulties to surpass previous inconvenient experiences and handle to manage the repercussions from them while you must face an extraordinary amount of change in your routines and expectations of normalcy.

I think the most important lessons I had learned during this period:

First, you always must check for your safety. If you do not do it, nobody else will necessarily think about it. You only have one mother and one father. Sometimes, you could find a great stepfather or stepmother but beyond that, the majority of people can be dangerous in the wrong circumstances. And Covid19 had been an excellent example of it, for some households. In Australia, the relative imposed self-isolation had offered less complex environments except for Victoria but it is impossible to control the changing weather you experience regularly in that State.

Second, it is always a great time to be healthy. I remembered during Zombieland the main character’s advice towards training Cardio. It sounded funny and tragic but the reality is the healthier you are if you do not have any pre-genetic condition, which makes you more vulnerable to die of pulmonary failure due to the Covid19 virus, your possibilities of surviving are higher. However, you could even find people with excellent healthy lives losing their lives due to this disease. Anyway, good physical health will make you less susceptible to dying from secondary health complications.

Third, you always must request support for your mental health. No matter how educated, strong, successful, powerful, wild, beautiful, intelligent or smart you are. You need mental health support when you face critical experiences like seeing people you love dying. When you lose your job. When your marriage is broken. When your partner leaves you. When you are sick. When you are facing complex and dramatic situations that are severely affecting your regular habits, you must look for help. Just do it. Call for help and assistance. Lifeline 131114.

Fourth, falling in love does not get easier with age. The only thing you learned is to navigate the love currents with more respect for yourself and others. And you are more clear about what you want and expect, rather than tolerating things you were not trained to discern as disrespect in the school or in your house, while you were growing up. Also, you learned that Legislation is very different from country to country. Things that happened to me in the past could have been punished in a different jurisdiction. Also, respect for Law is something that sadly not everyone takes seriously or follow as we should.

Five, dating in the digital age had a decline in quality most of the time. I do not know about you, but I had more fun going to the cinema in my infancy than some dates I had to have in modern times. While I am trying to be straightforward, the question is: are we losing the savoir-faire of life? Some dates felt a little bit mechanical due to using dating apps. This new process means it is harder to find a spark or an emotional connection. I think that is the reason why I could fall in love deeply and harder in unplanned and unexpected encounters rather than I have found through excess of written messages on any dating platform!

Six, your friendships and personal relations require extreme measures to put you in a healthy position when you need police intervention. One of the most relevant things I had learned during this period even when everyone sees things or only express: “It is sad”. It is, sometimes, you must apply extreme measures to feel safe. Mainly when some people create dangerous situations for you without giving a second thought about it. If you are in danger, feeling unsafe or needing a neutral person to mediate, call the police and authorities. Sometimes, we think people will behave like us, but it is not a realistic appreciation of the world. Sometimes, friends and even family could create a dangerous environment.

In case of being in a dangerous situation, call 000.

Written by Rossana Naveda.

A lover of chocolate chips biscuits/cookies, sunbathing, watching movies, swimming, and writing. Not really good at cleaning 🙂 I could organise.

In case of emergency, call 000 in Australia or the number of safety services in your community.

Aaia Maasarwe, another woman killed in Melbourne

Once and again, a woman was raped and killed in Melbourne. It is a sad reality, some people is saying my blog is not working but when I faced the reality of any women to suffer such type of crimes, it is disgusting that some people would not like to even try to establish new ways of changing what is a sad reality for female.

Perhaps, Aaia Maasarwe didn’t have enough bad experiences in her lifetime like I faced while I lived in South America, where the levels of tolerance for men’s bad behaviour is supported sometimes by other men or women. Or Aaia hadn’t been ever kidnapped to develop the fear of walking in the streets of Melbourne like any other local girl or woman. However, in few words she should not have to face a horrendous act of violence. Particularly, when she was preparing herself to bring her talent and skills to the world, that is the saddest part. She and her family and friends would not have a way to imagine what could she have become or been in the future.

Throughout this lost they will have the chance to remind her forever. I think it is a good point to keep promoting and trying to change and modify the violence women usually faced when her sexuality is used as a risk for themselves and not only as a part of their humanity. Sadly, some members of our society still believe that your sexuality is provocative and for that reason you should not allowed yourself to walk freely in the public space. It is honestly sad that women must fear someone attacked them under the ideology of a female’ sexuality cannot be controlled by her but it should be controlled, used or destroyed by someone who wanted to make use of his physical, or another type of force to determine where and when she should use it.

I don’t believe it is not working. Perhaps, it required a double effort and it would be a great idea to determine what is the best way to do it in this New Year. I don’t pray so often but I will do for her, her family and mine because I understood in many levels what kind of fear being a woman in the wrong social context you can feel.

 

About teachers being taught to spot potential transgender student

I read a few weeks ago how the percentage of students in Australia suffering of gender dysphoria has increased dramatically in the last five years. The statistics showed a 200% rise in kids as young as six changing sex. And I respect that parents now are well-educated and understand how the psychology of the kids work but sometimes, we can support things, which are not really good for the kids in the long term.

Sometimes as a kid it is just you like things that your parents could say “That is more for a boy”, which is a mistake. As I grow up I remember that I love robots, cars, roads, getting in the mini versions of any car, motorcycle and drive. Sometimes, I listened “That is not for a girl”, and that is how sometimes, kids and adults got confused because there is still prejudices over children’s interests rather than a real divergence about sexuality in children’s mind. It is not like you want to become a boy or a girl, it is more like you like things boys are more used to practice, play or do, but you are still interested in other things.

What confused you is listening the prejudice from adults saying ‘that is not up to you’. You should be more in this way, ‘more feminine’, ‘more masculine’ in the case of the boys. Perhaps, it is more about adults finally start learning also how to discern when someone wants to change their sex and what is the meaning behind being interested in topics or themes, which our old construction of gender provides with the classical view of masculine’ s or feminine’s interests. For example, being a woman doesn’t imply you are less feminine for liking topics, which used to be seen as topics created for and by men.

I read the article printed in The Daily Telegraph and while I supported that NSW and any educational supported students, who have a profound desire of changing their sexes and avoid being mistreated or insulted or suffering bullying for that reason. I also believe and supported the medical vision from Professor John Whitehall that nobody should change their sex until they are mature enough to take so important decision. After all, you couldn’t go backwards in that sense.

What remains from Vivid Sydney: From innocence, lights, paintings, Science and seduction.

#VividSydney was here. A festival of lights, ideas, Science, Arts and more. I found Snugglepot and Cuddlepie short-film showed as a film on one of my favourite buildings in Sydney. The characters created by Australian author May Gibbs was amazing. The story is simple but the music and the feature would you feel glad, peaceful, discovering more about the symbols behind the Australian culture, where Eucalyptus trees are found in the bush all the time letting koalas enjoy long naps under burgeoning rays of light in the middle of any day during December and January. These common  places inspired the Australian artist to create this world, where the innocence is the main element of their journey. In some sort of way inspired and fueled the natural desire in Saxon countries for going to explore the world and find new adventures to live.

In my humble experience, the walking around the city works as an interesting and reflexive momentum to think of it as a short trip from the innocence of  Snugglepot and Cuddlepie’ story until a surprising second visit to the Charles Billich’s gallery located in The Rocks, where all the vices from adulthood are present. Money, Fame, Diamonds, Sex, Hedonism, Seduction, Bets and Sensuality had been exposed and explored in the majority of his paintings. He is a painter of excesses but he can organise them so well with a Modern version of Surrealism and Cubism that they looked just marvelous, attractive, desirable, and inviting… My favourite are the Russian Ballet Dancer paintings, he definitely loves that woman. As well as the horses running for the first place with their jockeys.

 

The first time I was in his gallery was in 2015, and what called my attention this time was his story as refugee in Australia. Definitely, a place you must visit during any #VividSydney  It was a great experience, and against some voters in this beautiful place I wouldn’t think it is a good idea moving the Festival around Australia, it belongs to Sydney, even with a crazy traffic, waves of people crossing across the CBD using a comple Labyrinth, meanwhile restaurants and bars are full with visitors, Sydneysiders, writers, photographers, parents running behind their children, loners, couples, single parents, backpackers, students, tourists, the truth is this event belongs to Sydney.

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If you don’t want to walk out during the night, you should plan ahead a survival guide list for the things to do to avoid all the issues related to #VividSydney. Perhaps, I can help you with one but I enjoyed those nights. I do really find fascinating the projection of different microorganisms, virus, bacteria, and some fungus in The Rocks Wall. I enjoyed part of the Biennale in the Museum of Contemporary Art. It was hard, painful, real, familiar and intense the exploration of the conflict between Capitalism and Comunism in the last Century through the experience and words from a retired officer and how anybody can be part of a massacre caused by a bigger power, which gave us that reality as the only alternative. Probably the crucial example of losing your innocence in a modern world.

In my personal opinion is part of Sydney’s identity like the White Night belongs to Melbourne .I was just waiting for watching the sweetest images of three children running from their small town to the big city as something nice, entertaining for children and in some sort of way a sense of reminiscence for adults about their own adventures when they were younger. From this point, I walked towards the  create my own emojis on Samsung  exhibition following an interesting show of candies and high-speed cars . The last one was probably the most popular area for teenagers attracted by the modern beats produced in the Dj’s console, as well as, taking pictures and recording videos with their phones of the colourful and vivid videos reflected on the Sydney Opera House. Finally, it was a Festival, which let us go back again to remember and celebrate how Lumiere Brother’s discovery of how using light and shadow in a special way during the darkness could let us dream and create visual stories or concepts. Before them was the discovery of fire, which protect us but we are not in a History class, this is just a Op ed about why #VividSydney belongs to Sydney.
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Kate Spade: an eye-opener for common prejudices

By Rossana Naveda

Mental health issues like depression among other mental diseases usually are associated to people who is not doing as winners, or at least with the common elements of a well established life. Reading about her death was something really sad for me because when you love someone by her work, it is impossible to think you would not miss  the talent that everybody will miss. Meanwhile, for her family, her husband, her daughter, this is a devastating experience and probably, they would remember forever the amazing details from the personality of this Mid-Western girl.

What called my attention is Coach, now known as Tapestry, bought the Kate Spade brand last year for $2.4 billion. This is a clear sign of how having or not having money could not be the main reason of someone to kill themselves. Most of the time we believe that having things like a fortune, or a established life with a husband, a family, and friends, as well as, stability in the external would be everything to be healthy in the physical and mental aspects of our lives.

Perhaps, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was right to increase the budget with additional AUS$ 34 million for saving more lives of people thinking about suicide. A few weeks ago, the Prime Minister gave this information. It has been a long journey in different countries for creating awareness toward mental health issues. In England and The United States the Royal Family and Lady Gaga were trying to increase the confidence in young generations and adults to speak about it but we found that in a time where we are more connected to others than ever through our devices, we are more lonely than too. In Australia, Suicide deaths has increased by more than 20 percent between 2004 and 2014, and it is the leading cause of death in Australians aged between 15 and 44 years. The rate of indigenous suicide is double the rate of non-indigenous suicide.

Technology&Prejudices

This said something important. We are desperate to make robots act like humans but we forgot humans are killing themselves in highest rates in a decade. And this is happening in France, Canada, Australia, Spain, The United States, among other developed and underdeveloped economies. Some people do not like to use those words to describe them but I still believe they are better than 1st and 3rd world, the words used to mention them in my Encyclopedias of Geography and History.

While I grew up and I was studying English, I discover for the first time about the Japan’s high rate of suicides between students, who couldn’t achieve the milestone they and their parents desire to achieve, and how their perception of suicides in this culture was responsible in part of this behaviour. Honor for them was like a religion, the tradition of  honourable suicide is still part of their culture. And at some point I could understand their way to see life but if someone would take my honour, I would probably rather try to kill him, her, or them, rather than killing myself. Definitely, a different cultural background determine our beliefs and actions.

However, what has been happening in the last two decades it is something the majority is ignoring. Killing yourself for economic distress is not new, even people during the Wall Street market crashed in 1929 provoked numerous incidents related to suicide. In modern times, Spain has a outrageous number of suicides attached to economic reasons provoked by the crisis where millions had lost their houses. In France, as it was reported by The Local, every year around 220,000 people in France attempt to take their own life and 10,000 of those die as a result. Most of the time, the reason is how any individual feels connected to their job, and when they are not able to find a way to make it, that caused distress.

However, what you could understand when somebody, who is not facing this kind of external issues, and it is living in a complete different scenario as successful people, kill himself or herself. Perhaps, we should try to understand the reason is not necessarily the cause but the inability to cope with the trauma, and how society tends to ignore the person suffering, or seeing with disregard the reasons or causes behind this situation.

Social criticism&prejudices

In this case, having more interaction with other and a group of people helping you when you felt like there was not anything to do, to try, to share, or to express to change your sadness. Particularly, when they couldn’t understand how someone with everything they would like to have could not be happy. People can feel even annoyed.

And this is not only for lonely people, I found that some experts said isolation is the first step in this case of scenario, but I have listened new mothers having a terrible case of baby blue, even when everybody is around happy and supporting them. Of course, I was there listening and telling them that even when the experience could be overwhelming, excessively demanding and scaring; they would raise a beautiful child in the future, rather, than criticising, humiliating, bullying, gossiping or ignoring them like most of the time people do when they must listen someone saying things like that.

For young people this even harder. The popular TV teen drama Thirteen reasons why is a good example of how younger generations face more than ever a high risk of killing themselves under pressure of being different, not so popular, not so thin, not so sexy, not so whatever other people want. And this is particularly, real for teenage girls who also need to face challenges about the figure so, dying with Anorexia or Bulimia is in some sort of way another kind of suicide.

And when I admired Kate Spade’s work during all my life while I work in the publishing industry, her case says a lot about how we can sadly see a person with so much talent, opportunities, family and success had to face a tragic end for her life. I remembered walking in the famous store with her logo in the entrance, in Sydney last February, and seeing a beautiful black dress full of poppies. I did not buy it but I believe this is a relevant example of how many talented and marvelous people is lost each year because there was not a person listening them. With Anthony Bourdain  we saw the same happening, and it is devastating, another talented person, who did not only entertained us but taught us. What else do we need to see to understand something is wrong?

When will we use technology to diminish the rate of people who kill themselves because the truth behind depression and suicide is most of the time, the person suffering feels the weight of the world over their shoulders in a literal way. Beyond what is really happening outside, it is an inner issue so, when you had achieved so much in your life  people could say why did you feel sad? You got everything anybody could dream about. First, we should stop believing that having a depression is something that happened only to lonely people or unemployed, or unsuccessful people.

Everyone can be a victim of this kind of state.

If you have suicidal thoughts or another issues like Anorexia or Bulimia, you can call Lifeline in Sydney, Australia 11 13 14, chat on their website or you can talk with your family, siblings or friends. If you are in the United States, The National Suicide Prevention is 1-800-273-TALK [8255]. Meanwhile in France, Spain and The United Kingdom the phone numbers are:

France

S.O.S Amitié
http://www.sos-amitie.org
Phone: 01 42 96 26 26

Spain

Teléfono de la Esperanza
http://telefonodelaesperanza.org
Phone: 902500002

United Kingdom / Ireland

Samaritans
http://www.samaritans.org
Phone: 08457 90 90 90 (UK)
Phone: 1850 60 90 90 (Republic of Ireland)
Email: jo@samaritans.org

If you are in another country, you can check this list: Global Hotline for helping prevent suicides.

 

Review: Don’t judge a girl by her cover

The choice was not difficult I had already seen multiple times the film based in the book The sisterhood of the traveling pants, and even when I had been traveling the last four years without any kind of normal good-bye from my friends…The truth is our situation was more like a battlefield before our pathways took different directions so, it was not the best alternative at that moment.

Finding Don’t judge a girl by her cover by Ally Carter following the collection Gallagher Girls called my attention. A high school for super-spies sounds quite extreme but that is what makes the story of young girls getting ready to become high trained security professionals in something interesting.

The first pages introduced you the main characters Cameron “Camie” Miss Morgan/ Chameleon. She spoke 14 languages and she got the ability to hide and play her part in different situations and environments without being excessively noticed, which is one of the most important characteristics for becoming a successful spy. She had lived in Washington with her mother, and after her father lose her life in the field, her mother decided to accept the role of headmistress in the Gallagher Academy for exceptional young woman.

As the main character, Miss Morgan/ aka Camie told the story of the main cover of her school for talented girls, who dreamed to become members of high secret services in different countries like the United States or United Kingdom. The characters are well-defined, the story let you with an excessive amount of doubts rather than getting some certainties. I hadn’t finished the collection but I gave a high score for the description of violent scenes and kidnappers’ system for attacking a target.

The main topic in this book is how Camie and her school do everything to protect the life of her roommate at the school, Macey McHenry, only daughter of a Vice-Presidency candidate running for the office competing during the elections time in the United States, who was victim in a first attack inside her school of Political extremists, and save by her classmate Cameron.

The more you read, this simple fact started to change more and more until you found what is the real target? In my personal opinion, the most interesting fact about the book is how the training to become a professional in Security is firmly attached to use your brain all the time and let your feelings out of the game. And that is what the character tried to teach you. For older people and younger readers, the attraction on a value like loyalty, which nowadays is not so easy to find not even in your friends; and the main element in the interactions of this group is undoubtedly, one of the more likeable things on the reading. Perhaps, that is why do you still find people interested to be part of Military groups, Police, Firemen because putting your life in the hands of somebody else, it is undoubtedly, the highest risk any man or woman could take.

Love interests are part of Cameron’s life too. Zach is the target of her heart, and even when she tried to be rational about him. Each encounter let her most confused than usual, she is good in tactics of defense but controlling herself and her feelings towards him looked like a harder work, especially, when he looks like a student, who shares most things in common than she expected. Their encounters are sexy, full of mystery and they never had the time to share them without something unexpected and dangerous happened.

I recommended the book for the description of kidnapping scenes, they will give you a close approach of how you feel it in this scenario, and not once but twice. Personally, I always had to stop multiple times during the second one because they reminded of a personal bad experience in South America, where I was kidnapped for 20 minutes by three guys and Cameron’s description is utterly connected to reality: You are angry, you fight, you felt tired but you keep pushing, punching, getting bashed and physically hurt, moving, screaming, crawling, pushing towards the car’s door, calling the attention of people to see you are in danger and running to get free. And all the time you feel fear that someone decide to use the gun to stop your actions but you wouldn’t let them to get you alive.

If you want to know more about the training of secret service agents, you love to watch Political thrillers, you like to know more about elections and campaigns, or learning how could you educate a high-trained professional since high school, the Gallagher Girls collection will made your weekend quite special.

The Essentials of being a Chameleon

By Cameron Ann Morgan

  1. It is very important, at all times, to look like you belong.
  2. When #1 is difficult, try pointing to imaginary people and walking purposefully and walking purposefully toward no one.
  3. Stillness. Stillness is key (except when you’re doing #2) because people see motion more easily that they see things. So when in doubt, freeze.
  4. It totally helps if you aren’t all that special looking (in either really good or really bad ways).
  5. Acquaint yourself with your surroundings. ASAP.
  6. Dress in a way that isn’t flashy, fashionably, ugly or obscene.
  7. Hiding is for amateurs.

Why Barnaby is wrong about his personal affair

Yes, I know I hadn’t written in excess about Political topics in Australia but the reason is simple, you don’t talk, at least, you lived long enough to understand what does the society think, expect and want from his leaders as they do.

In the case of Australia, it takes long because Aussie used to share some complexities about their culture, similar to Latin America, they used to have questions about identity, which are not completely satisfied yet. They even recognised that part of their way of thinking is attached to be a country recognise as it since 1 January 1901, which is only one century when we compared Australia’s democracy to other countries, which possessed a more complex History. However, Australian were involved and participated actively in the Greatest Wars of the XX Century, which let them be part or Modern History in an interesting way, and with a different vision of themselves.

In this story for female, I had found that even in a Continent far from most of the influences, the situation for female students at the Universities is still attached to work on making clear to men What is consent? What are the rules of consent? And how to avoid confusing the desire of a women? I did not want to go further in the topic before because I had been writing about harassment since this blog started and I am pretty sure there is a strong connection between what we learn in High School or Secondary education and the University, and all those experiences will appear later in life when we will work in an public or private institution so, yes, teaching about harassment and interpersonal behaviour shouldn’t be ignored, underappreciated or being discarded.

Most of the time, the topic is seeing under a vision of old women, who couldn’t figure it out a fun way in the life of young people having these experiences. However, women complained once and again towards this kind of conduct, no matter their age, and as we can see it is something that goes beyond any particular Victorian value. How could I expect any man would consider his behaviour and way of thinking towards women in a respectful way, while he lives under these circumstances in his youth, then he starts his career, and in the working place we observe all these sexual harassment or misconduct related cases happening?

Perhaps, some Political analysts considered an exaggerated position what Malcolm Turnbull did, when he expressed a critical view over having a romantic relationship with someone working as part of the staff in a public office. I found multiple journalists, media professionals and politicians who went against his critical position towards what Barnaby Joyce chose as the best alternative for the relationship with Vikki Campion. However, I truly believe when there is a crisis over conduct and the use of economic resources from any Government, no matter what Political party the public servant represents, it is relevant to analise the choices and positions taken under the premise that Government’s money comes from taxes and citizens who paid them, in that sense, it is reasonable calling the attention towards how and where those resources are used? It is ridiculous to think Malcolm Turnbull could be wrong when the situation was not properly managed. And Barnaby’s choices won’t affect only his career but they will put some pressure on the Political party he belongs to, as well as, the headmaster of the Australian Government at this time.

In this case, everybody knows that when Barnaby started his relation, he should had previously decided to remove her new girlfriend from the office and relocated her in a different department or following orders from another politician, not only for personal reasons, but for professional responsibility. And in the case of Vikki Campion, well, professionally speaking she did not offer the best advice to the leader of the National Party, Barnaby Joyce, when we should think about image in the local and international media landscape.

 

Golden Globes, Nicole Kidman,Oprah Winfrey and the other side of the French feminists

I remembered my first taste of Australian culture did not come with Locomotion… I discovered later that Kylie Minogue was Australian and I danced and sang more lines with her hit “I can’t get you off my head, boy your love it is all I think about”. I hope her next Album Golden would be so amazing as her previous productions. My cat Martin loves her voice in Slow and I know because he started to purr and lying with his belly exposed like she does in her video.  However, my first experience of seeing what was supposed to be the life Down Under was watching Paradise Beach.Of course, when I was fifteen I had never imagined I would spend more than two years in a country, where I fight for my ideas harder than I’ve ever done.

Under these circumstances, the Golden Globe gala was amazing with all the Artists involved in the request of finding a best practice in public and private sphere, which diminish the presence of abuse. Particularly, after Harvey Weinstein‘s case. Nicole Kidman was extremely glad of getting her prize as best actress for the role of a mother victim of violence at home in the film Big little lies. She used her time for being grateful of having a mother who defended the Feminist movement when she was a children.

“Sunny, Faith, I’m bringing this home to you, babies,” she began, referencing her and Keith Urban’s two young daughters. She went on to gush over co-stars Reese Witherspoon, Laura Dern, Shailene Woodley, and Zoe Kravitz, saying they “pledged allegiance to each other. Wow, the power of women.”

In the other side of the Atlantic
I found that some feminist and intellectuals in France consider the idea of attacking sexual harassment as a step back in the freedom of women sexuality because what media, artists, creators, and citizens are doing is putting women in a position similar to any children. I found it quite ridiculous we are talking about how someone uses his power, money or relations to threat a career or an employee, or making her life complicated after rejection, that is the real difference or being in a situation where saying ‘no’ is not perceived as something anybody would like to have the opportunity to do without feel fe a punishment for it. There is the big problem with harassment.

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Of course, having sexual desire is part of every person in the planet. At least, you are asexual so, having desire and express it too but when someone can coerce a woman because they are in a position of authority achieved through job, money, religion, status, will or power, we are facing a clear example of abuse. It is not about Victorian values, it is about respect and having the option of choosing with whom you will share your body without any kind of unexpected action, manipulation, dubious action (like to attack the personal values of someone in the public sphere for fun or to destroy his or her character in the public opinion), threat or menace. When you read this you can see the difference between gallantry and sexual harassment.

We shouldn’t try to say sexual desire could be compared with sexual harassment. Everybody feels desire, how do you manage your actions to get closer to a woman or men you are into would provide a very clear important differences. Particularly, when you are working with the person and you are his manager, boss, vice-President, Director or CEO.

Sometimes women and men could believe that we need our power back or saying we are going backwards, which is impossible. Women had just start winning in their battle for equality since they were recognised as voters and that just happened in the XIX century so, what we had seen in the last 130 years is how that battle advanced. We hadn’t got so much legal power before in the regular basis. At least, the woman was a noble or a Queen. Creating spaces to discuss topics like harassment couldn’t or shouldn’t get interpreted as a lost but an opportunity to find new ways to stop it.

Oprah Winfrey

oprah-winfrey-receives-golden-globe-awardOne of the most interesting actions was the clear dream of Oprah Winfrey. Nobody doubts she will be running for President of the United States in 2020. Perhaps, being winner of a prize like Cecil B. DeMille for her unstoppable and successful career on media and communications, as well as, actress, producer, among other roles made the moment unforgivable. Long time ago she confessed being victim of child sexual abuse so, her voice hadn’t got only the force of a professional but a survivor.

These are extracts from her speech “I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. We know the press is under siege these days. We also know it’s the insatiable dedication to uncovering the absolute truth that keeps us from turning a blind eye to corruption and to injustice.”

“…So I want tonight to express gratitude to all the women who have endured years of abuse and assault because they, like my mother, had children to feed and bills to pay and dreams to pursue…”

“…They’re the women whose names we’ll never know. They are domestic workers and farm workers. They are working in factories and they work in restaurants and they’re in academia, engineering, medicine and science. They’re part of the world of tech and politics and business. They’re our athletes in the Olympics and they’re our soldiers in the military.”

Even David Letterman had acknowledged the special and transcendental life she has experienced, she has always being a humble woman. Undoubtedly, what I read from Oprah, as well as, Nicole’s youth in Australia let me discover to avoid listening harsh comments about not fitting inside the Australian beauty standards, where you should have a perfect tan, sexy body and, and beach blonde hair. Nicole talked long time ago to a magazine about how she couldn’t reach that level as a teenager as some of her friends  did it because her white skin, curly red hair and freckles weren’t part of what was considered as the best Australian Aesthetics. I love it, if someone with Nicole Kidman’s genes couldn’t reach it and Oprah can overcome so harsh experiences and be happy, there should be a way to find  the same path

Their speeches were brilliant that night.


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Anne Boleyn: The classic paradox of women in Politics

It is not new finding strong-minded and wise women being diminished by male counterpart in the public sphere when it is time of considering Political choices.

 Even if that represents a complete and unjustified character manslaughter.

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When I need to recall Anne Boleyn, it is impossible to create a division in my mind from the fairy tales and the Journalist Research of History made by professionals, the first time I saw his husband Henry VIII was in the famous Reader’s digest cover at home. I felt ready to discover all the details behind this story, I was seven  and I couldn’t distinguish fantasy from reality during that European period after reading Bluebeard, the popular French fairy tale of a husband who kept the bodies of all his ex-wives in a room from his Castle, until her latest wife discovered everything and ended being save by her brothers. Anne Boleyn was not so lucky, his own brother was incarcerated and killed by the King, who accused him falsely of being part of having a sexual relation with her sister. I feel fear and an extraordinary curiosity about both stories, I read them once and again throughout different periods of time.

And still the story followed me when I found similar articles across the world telling how women are killed by their partners in our generation after more than seven centuries in a horrible similar scenario. This is still a relevant issue in different continents, for example, Australia had the presence of 80 to 100 women killed by his partner each year. In USA the number arises to three per day and in some countries of Europe, Asia and South America, you easily will find six women being victims of this kind of crime. Finding a similar line between what a common woman from the English, French or Spanish courts faced, as well as, the woman in the XXI century face could appear as a complete idiotic move from some scholars or professionals but the truth about the way society stipulated to see women could appear in a frightening way very similar, even with all the changes technology, science, and legislation had observed since the Kings ruled the world.

This construction of thought is not limited to how men perceived women in the social structure of thinking, the worst comes when it is possible to the regular family life, where women could be victims of violence. Some men had an inner way of thinking of women as property, media in some countries had still a strong expectation of exposing women as products all the time so, it is difficult to overcome the perception of them as someone with valuable ideas or when she tried to guide a group of men the results would often be very complicated for the women, and in some cases even dangerous.

That is exactly what happened with Anne Boleyn, she had never dreamed of becoming Queen of England, especially, after her older sister was the King’s lover. The burning obsession in the King’s heart was the beginning of her final story. Most of the time, critics would find her like a manipulative person but what I had found it is more the example of a woman, who should have to use her brain in the most critical circumstances to take advantages in an unrequited position. She was convinced about all that her education and preparation shouldn’t end wasted with a low-key job as becoming the King’s lover. Even if some could see her as a woman used by her family with the purpose of taking advantages on her position to convince King Henry VIII to choose a particular Political path to defend a new faith and made her country started cutting its links with the Roman Church, which she stipulated, as well as, all the King’s crew (Cromwell, Chapuys) would bring a strongest and robust  English society with better education and beliefs. Who could blame her? She only did it in the best interest of her country. To be sincere she never dreamed of getting married with a King but after he put his eyes on her, she knew there was no possibility to her of avoiding the King’s will.

Undoubtedly, being in this position only let her see as the best choice becoming his wife. At the beginning, she must have expected she could turn off his desire with a negative feedback but she was wrong. Usually what happens with men is they want what they couldn’t have. Particularly, when they are in a position of having all the things they want. Power and desire played always together in the Political sphere so, Anne did not provoke King Henry’s divorce, it was his lust and desire of possession, as well as, his attraction towards this woman, who was intellectually very different from Queen Catherine of Spain, a woman who followed the strict rules of the Roman Catholic Church. Perhaps, what attracted the King was the rebel character of Anne with her desire of supporting Protestantism in England, intellect and her youth age.

Time was a precious price for Anne and Catherine, the first one waited almost seven years before becoming her wife, the second one was her brother’s widow and more than five years older than Henry. For Anne was a good moment of use King’s attention to promote and protect the new faith and of course, absolute power, tempted the most righteous men so, when Anne started to promote biblical fragments where the Power of God is with the King, she could conquered his heart and mind. He was so in love that he wanted to rule next to her giving her the same amount of Power he possessed. She become her right hand, or at least, everybody in the Court knew that was the new reality.

This is the precise moment when another accolades in the Political Sphere used to see a woman in a high rank and plan how to make her fall. It is horrendous but most of the time, that is when a witch hunt begins, and you could find similar example in the Australian Political Arena with the discussion towards gender between ex Prime Ministers Tony Abbott and Julia Gillard or some misogynistic views expressed by the US President Donald Trump against women. Undoubtedly, having more men in roles of power is an element which increased the possibilities to any female of facing this kind of experience, where men used to protect themselves and finding the best scapegoat in any female figure to blame her for everything. Even if she promoted a right action or choice when it was required to take that path. For that reason, it is common to see in some instances how women are put in position of power when things are going wrong, that happened to Marissa Meyer , ex Ceo of Yahoo, when the company had been experienced a low rate of profit or any sign of growing. Another example could be Angela Merkel and the future elections.

For Anne, the problem arise when Thomas Cromwell and Chapuys did not want to lose their portion of control over Kingdom’s issues. They were scared to see how strong the relation between Anne and Henry had become after so many years so, when they consider to play their cards to support Henry for avoiding any possibility of having another Civil War in his territory caused by the risk of having a daughter with Queen Catherine, named Mary, who could easily arrange a marriage with a Catholic European Prince, who will exterminate the Tudor’s line as Henry’s father did with York’s line to get with the throne for his descendants. Cromwell, a Secretary of state, only thought in the best possible outcome to consider her marriage with Anne as invalid and giving the King a new opportunity of having kids. Of course, it was hard to do something against a woman who had been waiting patiently for seven years, the only path was destroying her with lies and fake accusations that nobody would take the risk to deny.


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Emotional management for the Uni, workplace, even your circle of friends

All the time I listen to warnings about acting in a specific way to protect my heart. Although all of them use to be about how to act in the proper way, sometimes, people don’t warn you about protecting yourself from other human beings bad choices, actions and decisions. As a younger woman, the situation was more complicated because I hadn’t got the maturity to end any situation, where my feelings and self-respect could be in danger.

Growing-up and experience had taught me to see easily the warning lights each time a man, woman or a boy is beginning to start a complicated or manipulative scheme to make me feel confused or change my mind or feelings towards him, her, or a particular situation in their favour and not mine.

I know this couldn’t be necessarily sound helpful, useful or interesting in your technological field of expertise. Especially when you want better tricks to develop your own platform or app. Furthermore, when achieving a high score in your next exam is more relevant for you. However, during your first years in the workplace, these simple rules will let you discern how to handle your not so friendly co-workers or friends because, sometimes, they indulge themselves in this kind of behaviour for the most meaningless reasons or selfish feelings.

It is even possible that they don’t feel anything about you, it is just a narcissistic way of thinking on themselves for attracting more women in the workplace -for men-, or to compete in a negative way with the wrong advantages -for women- so, be careful. Your work, your paycheck; as well as, your heart would be under high pressure and risk, in these circumstances.

In case you are not working yet or you are the only student in an internship, these guides will let you recognise when your friend or coworker is trying to manipulate your feelings to feel something you are not ready; you had not planned, or you are not even interested to feel.  Awareness about manipulative passive-aggressive behaviour is an important tool to avoid being fooled by a guy you are not into but he wants to transform the relation in something which is not like it at all for your best interest.

1.- Open your eyes

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Some guys could be just selfish or jerks acting in this way because they don’t really care about you or they didn’t even lose a second thinking about having a relationship with you. Another man could possibly be considering a real relationship but if the way to get to your heart is playing with your mind, it is the wrong way. Why? You would ask, the answer is simple that implies a toxic beginning for developing a good connection in the future because manipulation will become a regular guest in your interactions and the truth is nobody likes to feel manipulated.

2.- Recognise the pattern
  • You asked for a favour, he/she forgot it multiple times.  This is one of the first signs of passive-aggressive behaviour.

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No matter how many times they write down your request on the to-do list. It never happened.

  • Gossip about you.

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They use their time to spare false rumours and gossip about you.

  • Procrastination when you request support for any task.

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    You found how they dismissed any recommendation or request.
  • Bad behaviour: rudeness, disrespect, lack of tact, lack of validation, sarcasm, ironic sense of humour, among other similar behaviour patterns.
3.- How to react

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The hardest part: Decisions.

  • When you are younger is easy to get confused, particularly, if you got a romantic interest in the person. It is possible you tolerate and even participate in this ping-pong of excuses, bad vibes, and hide disparagement. However, it could be very negative in the long-term for all the people involved in the situation, as well as, for fulfilling the office goals.
  • First, it is relevant to call the attention of the person over her or his behaviour. Perhaps, they would open themselves and tell you exactly what is bothering them about your behaviour? Or the reason behind that kind of attitude. Honesty is relevant, listen to them carefully but if they acted like dumb people and ignored you, cut the ties there is not worst relationship that one, which is focused on being a hypocrite. It is better to be alone than sharing time with a person, who doesn’t respect you. Remember respect is the most important element in every relation. It could be professional, personal or even romantic, or with your family.
  • Second, what could I do if this is happening in an office but nobody recognised the negative behaviour? You should ask for support if your boss did not notice anything out of normal in this kind of behaviour. The worst outcome is your boss didn’t listen to you. As I read in an article from an Australian journal a few days ago, where they explained how in the Financial environment is common to avoid acting under the customary standards and be rewarded or admired. It is possible the same is happening at your office. If that is the case you should go to Human Resources to explain the situation and ask for help to talk to your manager.
  • Third, when you have already done all your efforts to change negative patterns but they are still part of your daily life, the best alternative is starting to search for a new job because no matter how good the paycheck is if you are going to feel uncomfortable or miserable in your workplace this won’t be good for your career in the long-term. Also, it is better left on good terms than being part of a distorted or violent situation provoked by negative people around you.
  • When we talk about the personal scenario, undoubtedly, you should find a new group of friends. Betrayal, passive-aggressive behaviour, hostility and disrespect are not signs of truthful friendships. Don’t feel bad, you are not losing something or someone valuable. It is possible you open the doors to new encounters, good or bad, but at least very different.

If you need more professional advice, write to rossana.naveda@gmail.com